
- Who are you?
- I am your disgust.
- What do you want?
- Obviously, to make you feel disgusted. Disgusted of yourself, or your failure, of your worthiness, of your complete uselessness. You didn't listen to me when I was trying to warn you: "let me out or I will explode". You silenced me with mambo jambo, excuses, tomorrows...and now you are trapped with me, literally, physically. I am inside you, no silence will keep me still.
- I can kill you.
- Can you?
- I can sit here with you, for ages, until your voice is silenced.
- ...and yet, that would kill you too. Heroic, the Thelma and Louise of inner demons.
- What do you want to tell me?
- First I want to punish you, for being such a sheep, for waiting, for rushing, for floating, for not making plans, for planning too much...
- You start to sound just like me...Do you want to punish me for everything?
- Sort of. You disgust me with your moaning and your hopelessness...that void in your stomach? Horrendous, pathetic.
- What will you do after punishing me with your words?
- Oh, dear...I will help you.
- These are old ways to teach, don't you agree? Helping by punishment.
- I really didn't want to be the bummer, but since you are not acting, I have no choice.
- We always have a choice.
- Exactly.What are the choices you are not making, the actions your are not taking?
- Not living is one of them. Not blossoming. But I already know that. I don't need your disgust as a reminder. You have visited me and taken over my house, you think you belong here, but remember: you don't. I might have let you in, with all the voices in my head and all the eyes I look at myself through, but this too shall pass. In the meantime, since you seem to feel very strong inside me, please, take a seat, make yourself comfortable. Let's stay here, let's throw words at each other, until we can throw each other actions. And actions will kill you.
- And help you.
Comments