September 2014
Her eyes are Golden Green, and have some freckles inside. Never saw eyes like hers. They look at me and I can see they are full of sparkles. Lights and shadows. A whole gradient of colors than look at me with devotion.
I have no love for her, but I want to be with her, and I want her to be with me. I want to hold her and be held by her, a hopeless warmth between two strangers. She knows I don´t love her, but I see her eyes are full of love.
I hate not being able to love her. I hate having to say goodbye to all those beautiful creaturas I make love with. But that´s the only thing I have for them: being with her for tonight, when I feel her beside me and I miss having a body to lay on, to rely on.
My life is full of faces looking at me with this devotion I know they try to hide from me. And the only thing I can do to answer them back, to give them something, is making love with them. Because I like those beautiful hopeless creatures seeking my touch, my kisses, my body. I have no love for them, and I am sorry.
I am gentle with her because tonight we just have each other, two castaways finding shelter in each other. Even if she doesn´t understand it, even if she will suffer, we belong to each other tonight. That´s all she will have from me, that´s all I will have from her.
Maybe I won´t forger her. How could I forget those beautiful Golden Green eyes looking at me while we make love? I might be inside her with my body, with my hungry sex…but she… she has penetrated my soul with her eyes.
I wanted to hold her, to rest in her womb, to fill it with future, I wanted to belong to her, to touch her back while she sleeps, to smell her skin befote falling sleep, I wanted to melt the ice of her sorrow with my arms. I wanted to stay.
But I can´t.
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